Loud Voices
Imagine, you standing in the shower, getting hit by the pressured water from the shower head.
Bearable.
Now imagine being engulfed by the ocean.
Even if you manage to stay afloat and struggle out from the drowning waters.
What have you become?
The man who stood there running for his dreams might be so tired from all that fighting and struggling and would much better be seen lazing and surviving on the minimum.
Who cares about dream.
Screw this world for all the rules I've been living by.
Its so stupid that I spend so much time complying to these annoying boundaries, and in the end, what I become of is just a coward that remains in that boundaries.
" Be that good girl you always have to be"
That one line from Let it Go in Frozen movie hit me so much.
Yes..
I always have to be that good girl.
I don't even think I'm good natured.
But I have to.
Words have so much weight that people don't realise at all.
" Why can't you get this? "
It isn't a question asking, but a big slap across your face that you are dumb.
" You should have known better "
Is absolutely emphasising how dumb you were to not be doing the right thing.
You ought to know, they claimed, are you dumb?, in other words.
" I am disappointed in you. "
It is the most often use phrase and yet the least understood one.
It's not a mere disappointment on a person.
It's throwing stones at them, venting your disappointment at them.
Screwing them up.
Giving them burden.
Letting them trap in that expectations you have on them.
And let you drown in people's expectations and rules.
Just cause you're the oldest, you have to make the best decision.
You can't whine.
You can't pout.
You can't cry.
Just cause you're the youngest, you have to listen to the oldest.
You can't defy
You only can listen.
You can't even voice out your points.
Because you're too young and you don't know anything.
That's life my friend.
And screw that.
Two freaking weeks to reality.
And guess what, everyone is pouring water on me.
Look..
I'm okay with getting drenched.
But ain't it my life?
Even if I decided to live by through cleaning the streets.
I don't even bother you one bit.
I AM EFFING TIRED.
Of letting shit thrown on me.
I realised this.
And I have this personality.
Just because.
I live by rules.
Never trouble anyone.
Be independent.
Always be considerate.
And guess what, its completely fine to have people ditching you.
And yet my systems screams guilt when I am away from my phone for five minutes.
And empowerment.
Just cause I have acquired higher education.
I AM SUPPOSED, to help.
Just cause I am not sick and dying.
I AM SUPPOSED, to help.
Just cause i am no longer studying
I AM SUPPOSED, to be more free.
Just cause I kept quiet.
I AM SUPPOSED, to be alright to continue throwing shit at me.
Do I need a revolution, some uprising to get things straight.
I wanna escape.
I wanna run.
I wanna hide.
I wanna get out of this stupid rules that stupid humans set up.
I am crying inside all the time.
But I just put on a smile.
Because.. I don't want anyone to worry.
I can' t let anyone worry.
I am supposed to be mature.
To make sound decisions.
Including.. be silent about my woes and pain.
I admit.
What I face in life is small.
Its barely a prick of the needle.
But.. its suffocating.
Pursing fanfic writing was a dream come true.
It was amazing to me how much people I've reached out.
How much I have changed.
How much I could do
How much I could impact.
But...
Its wrong.
Why..
Because it doesn't benefit my future.
Being crazy in kpop.
It was an escape.
Twice in my life..
Helping me get through when no one could hear me.
I swear.
It felt like an effective drug.
But now...
I have to stop.
Why.
Because what's the point in living in fantasy.
They don't even know who I am.
They don't even care about me, if I am sick or whatsoever.
You're right.
But why are humans so superficial.
Don't eat hawker food.
Why?
Cause its unhealthy.
BUT EVERYTHING ELSE YOU EAT PRETTY MUCH GIVE YOU CANCER.
Don't try to do art.
Why?
Its hard to find a job.
BUT UNEMPLOYMENT RATE DOESN'T ONLY INCLUDE PEOPLE IN ART INDUSTRY.
Don't cry.
Why?
Because its weak.
And.. I have never find a better way to end this.
So I'm not the kind to cry.
I won't lie.
I'm scared.
I am so overwhelmed by the future.
How that one day is going to affect thirty years of my life.
I believe in God.
I believe it will hit me just like this job.
But I'm tired of those stupid people bothering me.
I am happy.
I am not happy taking your shit.
Be it you know or not.
I just need time.
Two weeks, promise yourself Shermain.
Stand up afterwards.
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Love Notes
She doesn't believe in fairytales
She only believes that everything in life happens for a reason
She's the writer of her life
She's holding the pen
The little notes from the book are here
This is her life, her book
Chapter 1ended
Chapter 2ended
Chapter 3ended
Chapter 4ended
Chapter 5ended
Chapter 6ended
Chapter 7Begins..
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The Awesome Owner
hai ,
Loves: Music, Dogs, Purple!, PIANO
I'm not perfect, I make mistakes.
Dreams are wonderful things that never stop growing.
She just wanna not get into any trouble, living quiet life.
She's just like any other people in the world but with a dream to fufill
She loves music more than anything <3
More than ever, she hopes to become a songwriter
A writer, but one that fills in the melody with words
She wants to create songs, that are everyone's best friends
She wanna bring music that can be someone's shoulder to cry on
Someone's hand to lift them up with
Someone just to listen to them
Someone to give them advice
Someone, to let them believe, they are awesome
Recently caught spazzin' on dramas as she got tired of kpop
Currently: Hopes to learn Korean well
Loud Voices
Imagine, you standing in the shower, getting hit by the pressured water from the shower head.
Bearable.
Now imagine being engulfed by the ocean.
Even if you manage to stay afloat and struggle out from the drowning waters.
What have you become?
The man who stood there running for his dreams might be so tired from all that fighting and struggling and would much better be seen lazing and surviving on the minimum.
Who cares about dream.
Screw this world for all the rules I've been living by.
Its so stupid that I spend so much time complying to these annoying boundaries, and in the end, what I become of is just a coward that remains in that boundaries.
" Be that good girl you always have to be"
That one line from Let it Go in Frozen movie hit me so much.
Yes..
I always have to be that good girl.
I don't even think I'm good natured.
But I have to.
Words have so much weight that people don't realise at all.
" Why can't you get this? "
It isn't a question asking, but a big slap across your face that you are dumb.
" You should have known better "
Is absolutely emphasising how dumb you were to not be doing the right thing.
You ought to know, they claimed, are you dumb?, in other words.
" I am disappointed in you. "
It is the most often use phrase and yet the least understood one.
It's not a mere disappointment on a person.
It's throwing stones at them, venting your disappointment at them.
Screwing them up.
Giving them burden.
Letting them trap in that expectations you have on them.
And let you drown in people's expectations and rules.
Just cause you're the oldest, you have to make the best decision.
You can't whine.
You can't pout.
You can't cry.
Just cause you're the youngest, you have to listen to the oldest.
You can't defy
You only can listen.
You can't even voice out your points.
Because you're too young and you don't know anything.
That's life my friend.
And screw that.
Two freaking weeks to reality.
And guess what, everyone is pouring water on me.
Look..
I'm okay with getting drenched.
But ain't it my life?
Even if I decided to live by through cleaning the streets.
I don't even bother you one bit.
I AM EFFING TIRED.
Of letting shit thrown on me.
I realised this.
And I have this personality.
Just because.
I live by rules.
Never trouble anyone.
Be independent.
Always be considerate.
And guess what, its completely fine to have people ditching you.
And yet my systems screams guilt when I am away from my phone for five minutes.
And empowerment.
Just cause I have acquired higher education.
I AM SUPPOSED, to help.
Just cause I am not sick and dying.
I AM SUPPOSED, to help.
Just cause i am no longer studying
I AM SUPPOSED, to be more free.
Just cause I kept quiet.
I AM SUPPOSED, to be alright to continue throwing shit at me.
Do I need a revolution, some uprising to get things straight.
I wanna escape.
I wanna run.
I wanna hide.
I wanna get out of this stupid rules that stupid humans set up.
I am crying inside all the time.
But I just put on a smile.
Because.. I don't want anyone to worry.
I can' t let anyone worry.
I am supposed to be mature.
To make sound decisions.
Including.. be silent about my woes and pain.
I admit.
What I face in life is small.
Its barely a prick of the needle.
But.. its suffocating.
Pursing fanfic writing was a dream come true.
It was amazing to me how much people I've reached out.
How much I have changed.
How much I could do
How much I could impact.
But...
Its wrong.
Why..
Because it doesn't benefit my future.
Being crazy in kpop.
It was an escape.
Twice in my life..
Helping me get through when no one could hear me.
I swear.
It felt like an effective drug.
But now...
I have to stop.
Why.
Because what's the point in living in fantasy.
They don't even know who I am.
They don't even care about me, if I am sick or whatsoever.
You're right.
But why are humans so superficial.
Don't eat hawker food.
Why?
Cause its unhealthy.
BUT EVERYTHING ELSE YOU EAT PRETTY MUCH GIVE YOU CANCER.
Don't try to do art.
Why?
Its hard to find a job.
BUT UNEMPLOYMENT RATE DOESN'T ONLY INCLUDE PEOPLE IN ART INDUSTRY.
Don't cry.
Why?
Because its weak.
And.. I have never find a better way to end this.
So I'm not the kind to cry.
I won't lie.
I'm scared.
I am so overwhelmed by the future.
How that one day is going to affect thirty years of my life.
I believe in God.
I believe it will hit me just like this job.
But I'm tired of those stupid people bothering me.
I am happy.
I am not happy taking your shit.
Be it you know or not.
I just need time.
Two weeks, promise yourself Shermain.
Stand up afterwards.
