Definition of Life
( I honestly wrote this about a few days back.
I was like emo and all..
But someone saved me from dying in the... emotions..
And God, raised me up from the ground..
She gave me a chance that I never thought I could have...
But I'm still gonna post this since its in the drafts, and I've spent close to an hour writing this)
I found myself stuck in this pit.
Its like a neverending slide down to nothing.
People say, Don't let anyone have the pen to your story,
But screw this quote, everybody is trying to conquer other people's story.
That's the reality and you better just accept it,
If not prepare yourself for a war.
I found myself lost and stranded in an island of emptiness last year.
It was terrible.
I managed to scramble and survive till today..
With the help of writing.
I am always sinking into Kpop crazily at times like these.
And writing save me.
I swear, it did.
For, without writing, the girl typing this wouldn't be alive.
Literally.
Or maybe..
Well, let's keep it to literally.
And so, I started this path of fan fics.
Don't get me wrong, I never,
I swear, I never drown myself in that fantasy of believes and...well, fantasies.
It's stupid in my opinion.
But, I'm doing it now.
It seems to me, the definition of life changes as a person changes.
If not, I'll be calling myself stupid.
(raise eyebrows)
And, as I write every fan-fic, as far as possible, I would lean to inspire every reader.
I don't really have much experience with love,
But I have a lot of experience from observation.
And one thing's for sure,
Time, will reveal everything if one is patient.
But still.. as I get drown in my own fantasy to please my reader's fantasy.
I felt lost again.
But yet alive.
I feel alive honestly.
I wouldn't say this is an escape from reality.
It isn't. I'm still clear-headed of my responsibilities.
But.. right now, I feel like I'm dying.
Because all this while, I took the pen to write other's story..
I fail to write mine.
I took a break to have a breather and think through stuff.
In my country..
We're bounded by expectation and rules.
Actually, that's the reality.
And, screw that.
The truth about every teenager and kid out there..
is we really hate when we're being asked about studies.
(exception.. for well.. minority)
School can be a chore, can be enjoyable.
I saw this yesterday on my friend's instagram.
" There will always be this kid in school with a full set of colour pencils, and this kid in school with only four colour pencils, short and blunt"
This... is applicable to everyone.
Whether you are that kid with that full set of colour pencils,
Or that kid with only four.
This, is school.
This, is the working life,
This is... life.
If you understand that quote, understand that kids these days, are not only aware of the importance of exams, but burden by it.
Kids these days are not only aware of the importance of every step to their future, but burden by each step.
These "Eight months of holidays" I found myself be strapped to tons of responsibilities.
A supposed break, seems to be an excuse for everyone to throw stuff at me, just cause i have that supposed free time.
Even if, I am being claimed to be slacking last year, I believe I deserve the rest..
And not become everyone's supposed rubbish chute.
And, I'm tired of being all smiles to these people.
Hell, I have a life of my own.
If I plan to spend the next eight months pleasing my readers with my fanfics, that's my life.
If I plan to keep silent for the next eight months, you better start worrying.
I will first make a bold comment,
Last year, was a tough year.
But,.. even in people's eyes I seemed to be slacking..
I swear, that was my best.
I have never worked so hard.. so so so so hard.. until I couldn't breathe.
I have never cried so much in a year (for other reasons too... but still)
I have never.. been so affected by everything..
I don't really care what people are going to say anymore.
Even if I can't make it to anywhere,
I'm telling you now, I don't care what you're saying.
I'm proud of myself.
I 'm proud of me.
I managed to scramble through alive last year,
And, even if I don't make it anywhere, at least I'm alive.
At the very least,
That reason should suffice for a reason to celebrate on the day of results.
I don't dare to think, and I shan't.
The definition of life has been pondering in my head for as long as ten years.
Ever since I found the path of thinking..
And ever since I learnt about the world.
You see...
People are judgmental.
This is innate.
This is inborn.
It's a natural way for humans to judge, because this is categorizing people, things, events.. and as a mistake to learn from the past, as a clearer reference for the future, or basically, to strike conversations and interact with one another.
As an example,
When you see a lady with a huge belly, if one doesn't judge and claim her to be pregnant, you wouldn't have given up your seat.
And... of course, one's judgement may be flawed, because who know those are just adipose tissue.
But, you get the idea,
We can't get out of judging people.
So.. what can we do?
We can only listen to what we want to listen.
The older generation claims this rebellious.
In my opinion, as long one is open-minded and does critical thinking of their actions, this is benefiting them.
If Martin Luther King never dream of ending racism, where are we today?
If there isn't civil right's movement.. seriously, this world would be where it is now.
People, with the freedom to express, tends to overuse and misuse them.
Internet used to connect, is not an extra platform to bully and criticise people.
Let's just go with classic.
Kpop stars.
This has been burning inside me for so long.
Like I had always said, I'm not a blind follower.
I find stuff that makes them worthy to be called my bias.
And.. look, I don't care if they are plastic.
Do your research before talking to me, there are thousands of people out there with natural beauty. I can already come up with twenty people in this minute.
Why.. do people focus on their flaws and not their talent?
Just like this world..
Why do we focus on the number of subjects the kid failed and not how many he scored As for it?
WHY, do you focus on how slack your kids are, and not pondering about what's bothering them?
I have made many international friends in these two months.
The chances I've got to meet them is amazing.
Internet friends, many people say is fake..
You can't trust them.
True that.
You can't just trust a person typing before the screen to be your best pal.
You can't just trust anyone walking down the streets.
But... that doesn't mean anything.
That's just generalising.
And.. I found myself happier, seriously.. than I had ever been in the past one year.
I have never smiled this much... genuine smiles that is.
I have never gone to bed feeling happy.
And,.. I came to realise what's important in life, is not blindly chasing and paving path for a supposed beautiful future, but realising what's important at the present.
People may ask me, what am I gonna do when I've graduated.
I don't know.
I leave that to God.
Because, thus far, her plans have never fail to surprise me..
And her blessings and my ever gratefulness to her plans are my plans for the future.
And.. right now..
I have understood, after two days of thinking.
What I want..
I will.. at all cost, avoid anything that put me down.
I think its important for a person to always think of their good side, more of focusing their bad sides.
The truth is, most people feel even more insecure of their flaws, instead of positively improving themselves.
get this in you, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, PERFECT, AND AMAZING.
That's your line to say everyday.
That's it.
OF course, if your flaw is immoral..hurting people..
Please.. change >.<
But as always, love yourself.
Don't be put down by others.
No one should be holding the pen to your story.
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Love Notes
She doesn't believe in fairytales
She only believes that everything in life happens for a reason
She's the writer of her life
She's holding the pen
The little notes from the book are here
This is her life, her book
Chapter 1ended
Chapter 2ended
Chapter 3ended
Chapter 4ended
Chapter 5ended
Chapter 6ended
Chapter 7Begins..
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The Awesome Owner
hai ,
Loves: Music, Dogs, Purple!, PIANO
I'm not perfect, I make mistakes.
Dreams are wonderful things that never stop growing.
She just wanna not get into any trouble, living quiet life.
She's just like any other people in the world but with a dream to fufill
She loves music more than anything <3
More than ever, she hopes to become a songwriter
A writer, but one that fills in the melody with words
She wants to create songs, that are everyone's best friends
She wanna bring music that can be someone's shoulder to cry on
Someone's hand to lift them up with
Someone just to listen to them
Someone to give them advice
Someone, to let them believe, they are awesome
Recently caught spazzin' on dramas as she got tired of kpop
Currently: Hopes to learn Korean well
Definition of Life
( I honestly wrote this about a few days back.
I was like emo and all..
But someone saved me from dying in the... emotions..
And God, raised me up from the ground..
She gave me a chance that I never thought I could have...
But I'm still gonna post this since its in the drafts, and I've spent close to an hour writing this)
I found myself stuck in this pit.
Its like a neverending slide down to nothing.
People say, Don't let anyone have the pen to your story,
But screw this quote, everybody is trying to conquer other people's story.
That's the reality and you better just accept it,
If not prepare yourself for a war.
I found myself lost and stranded in an island of emptiness last year.
It was terrible.
I managed to scramble and survive till today..
With the help of writing.
I am always sinking into Kpop crazily at times like these.
And writing save me.
I swear, it did.
For, without writing, the girl typing this wouldn't be alive.
Literally.
Or maybe..
Well, let's keep it to literally.
And so, I started this path of fan fics.
Don't get me wrong, I never,
I swear, I never drown myself in that fantasy of believes and...well, fantasies.
It's stupid in my opinion.
But, I'm doing it now.
It seems to me, the definition of life changes as a person changes.
If not, I'll be calling myself stupid.
(raise eyebrows)
And, as I write every fan-fic, as far as possible, I would lean to inspire every reader.
I don't really have much experience with love,
But I have a lot of experience from observation.
And one thing's for sure,
Time, will reveal everything if one is patient.
But still.. as I get drown in my own fantasy to please my reader's fantasy.
I felt lost again.
But yet alive.
I feel alive honestly.
I wouldn't say this is an escape from reality.
It isn't. I'm still clear-headed of my responsibilities.
But.. right now, I feel like I'm dying.
Because all this while, I took the pen to write other's story..
I fail to write mine.
I took a break to have a breather and think through stuff.
In my country..
We're bounded by expectation and rules.
Actually, that's the reality.
And, screw that.
The truth about every teenager and kid out there..
is we really hate when we're being asked about studies.
(exception.. for well.. minority)
School can be a chore, can be enjoyable.
I saw this yesterday on my friend's instagram.
" There will always be this kid in school with a full set of colour pencils, and this kid in school with only four colour pencils, short and blunt"
This... is applicable to everyone.
Whether you are that kid with that full set of colour pencils,
Or that kid with only four.
This, is school.
This, is the working life,
This is... life.
If you understand that quote, understand that kids these days, are not only aware of the importance of exams, but burden by it.
Kids these days are not only aware of the importance of every step to their future, but burden by each step.
These "Eight months of holidays" I found myself be strapped to tons of responsibilities.
A supposed break, seems to be an excuse for everyone to throw stuff at me, just cause i have that supposed free time.
Even if, I am being claimed to be slacking last year, I believe I deserve the rest..
And not become everyone's supposed rubbish chute.
And, I'm tired of being all smiles to these people.
Hell, I have a life of my own.
If I plan to spend the next eight months pleasing my readers with my fanfics, that's my life.
If I plan to keep silent for the next eight months, you better start worrying.
I will first make a bold comment,
Last year, was a tough year.
But,.. even in people's eyes I seemed to be slacking..
I swear, that was my best.
I have never worked so hard.. so so so so hard.. until I couldn't breathe.
I have never cried so much in a year (for other reasons too... but still)
I have never.. been so affected by everything..
I don't really care what people are going to say anymore.
Even if I can't make it to anywhere,
I'm telling you now, I don't care what you're saying.
I'm proud of myself.
I 'm proud of me.
I managed to scramble through alive last year,
And, even if I don't make it anywhere, at least I'm alive.
At the very least,
That reason should suffice for a reason to celebrate on the day of results.
I don't dare to think, and I shan't.
The definition of life has been pondering in my head for as long as ten years.
Ever since I found the path of thinking..
And ever since I learnt about the world.
You see...
People are judgmental.
This is innate.
This is inborn.
It's a natural way for humans to judge, because this is categorizing people, things, events.. and as a mistake to learn from the past, as a clearer reference for the future, or basically, to strike conversations and interact with one another.
As an example,
When you see a lady with a huge belly, if one doesn't judge and claim her to be pregnant, you wouldn't have given up your seat.
And... of course, one's judgement may be flawed, because who know those are just adipose tissue.
But, you get the idea,
We can't get out of judging people.
So.. what can we do?
We can only listen to what we want to listen.
The older generation claims this rebellious.
In my opinion, as long one is open-minded and does critical thinking of their actions, this is benefiting them.
If Martin Luther King never dream of ending racism, where are we today?
If there isn't civil right's movement.. seriously, this world would be where it is now.
People, with the freedom to express, tends to overuse and misuse them.
Internet used to connect, is not an extra platform to bully and criticise people.
Let's just go with classic.
Kpop stars.
This has been burning inside me for so long.
Like I had always said, I'm not a blind follower.
I find stuff that makes them worthy to be called my bias.
And.. look, I don't care if they are plastic.
Do your research before talking to me, there are thousands of people out there with natural beauty. I can already come up with twenty people in this minute.
Why.. do people focus on their flaws and not their talent?
Just like this world..
Why do we focus on the number of subjects the kid failed and not how many he scored As for it?
WHY, do you focus on how slack your kids are, and not pondering about what's bothering them?
I have made many international friends in these two months.
The chances I've got to meet them is amazing.
Internet friends, many people say is fake..
You can't trust them.
True that.
You can't just trust a person typing before the screen to be your best pal.
You can't just trust anyone walking down the streets.
But... that doesn't mean anything.
That's just generalising.
And.. I found myself happier, seriously.. than I had ever been in the past one year.
I have never smiled this much... genuine smiles that is.
I have never gone to bed feeling happy.
And,.. I came to realise what's important in life, is not blindly chasing and paving path for a supposed beautiful future, but realising what's important at the present.
People may ask me, what am I gonna do when I've graduated.
I don't know.
I leave that to God.
Because, thus far, her plans have never fail to surprise me..
And her blessings and my ever gratefulness to her plans are my plans for the future.
And.. right now..
I have understood, after two days of thinking.
What I want..
I will.. at all cost, avoid anything that put me down.
I think its important for a person to always think of their good side, more of focusing their bad sides.
The truth is, most people feel even more insecure of their flaws, instead of positively improving themselves.
get this in you, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, PERFECT, AND AMAZING.
That's your line to say everyday.
That's it.
OF course, if your flaw is immoral..hurting people..
Please.. change >.<
But as always, love yourself.
Don't be put down by others.
No one should be holding the pen to your story.
