Dear Diary,...
Long long ago...
Once upon a time,...

How should I exactly start?
I didn't know what came to me.
For the past six months, I have been living with fake smiles.
In an attempt to change over a new leaf, okay, perhaps just trying to start anew
Make changes in my life
By trying to keep a smile up there, even though down in my heart I am not happy..
Well, it worked I guess..
More friends, things were pretty good..
One fine day, I realised I had lost me.
That ain't me.
I wish I was back to my own emo, me.
That very thought changed the severity of the situation.
Everything fell apart, got back up, fell apart again.
My mind is blown, and hurts as if all the thoughts are rammed into my brain and poking themselves into the scalp of my head, trying to burst their way out.

At first I thought gaining first hand information is good.
Then, I regretted, really really regretted telling her.
All had changed.
We can't go back to before ever again.
And I can't trust her, anymore.
The worst thing is there are many things I have to work with her..
And I doubt I can keep that smile for any longer..

Then, comes PW. It almost failed.
It almost just topple down.
The structure I had painstakeningly build up was going to fall.
Thank God it didn't.
All turned out well yesterday.
I am really grateful to God.

Then, Common Test.
The amazing situation. In my class, I am easily the second or third in class.
But my grades aren't my usual standards..
Way worst off.
Many of my friends feel upset for their grades..
But I am in the middle..
To be frank, it ain't my best effort so such grades are okay..
But, it is so freggin ugly, and it drives me crazy to see I have scored so horribly..
But I can't say anything to my friends cause they all scored lower..
They cannot understand or sympathise with my agony when I see my results.

The twists in life is amazing.
In a short 5 days, so many things happened that led my heart up and down.
I am really really really tired of all the drama and what nots.
What is the purpose anyway for us to run in circles and get hurt.
Life has full of mysteries, but what is the purpose, the ultimate goal at the end.
I am really tired..
But I will not give up. 63 days to promos.
I will do it.,I believe in myself :"D